


Just A Second (we're not broken just bent)

by twelvenineteen



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Angst, Illness, M/M, Medication, Mentions of Death, Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 16:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9081334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twelvenineteen/pseuds/twelvenineteen
Summary: Jaebum and Jinyoung’s relationship is being put to a test as their health deteriorates day by day.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to complete this before posting it out but I hope by putting this as an on-going series, I would be more motivated to finish it.
> 
> Disclaimer: Some of the facts (symptoms, medication, etc) in the story are fictional and made-up but I'll try to go as accurate as possible to the real facts.

 

 

The boys didn't dare to go out of their rooms that night. Jaebum just got home and they could hear him quarrelling with Jinyoung in the living room. They were practically shouting at each other, voices started getting hoarse but they didn't care. All sorts of curses were being spit out, some in which they didn't even know Jinyoung and Jaebum would dare to say. Something had gone terribly wrong and they were so scared the two wasn't strong enough to pull it through.

 

“Fuck you Im Jaebum! I didn't ask to be controlled like a fucking dog!” Jinyoung shouts.

 

“If you don't want to be controlled then take care of your fucking body! I'm tired of always having to ask you to do things that you should know better! Grow up Jinyoung!” Jaebum was breathing heavily, staring him down even though their height difference wasn't much.

 

Jinyoung scoffed. “If you're tired then don't do it! Just leave me alone!”

 

“You’re fucking  _ sick _ Jinyoung!”

 

“So are  _ you _ ! Also, should I remind you who  _ made _ me sick? So don’t fucking try to tell me whatever I’m doing is wrong coz you have no fucking right Im Jaebum,” Jinyoung spat. 

 

“At least I know how to take care of my own fucking body Park Jinyoung. You think I don’t know that you’ve not been taking your pills? That you’ve not been going for checkups? Take care of yourself and then I’m more than happy to leave you the fuck alone,” Jaebum’s heart felt heavy after Jinyoung said what he said but he can’t back down. It wasn’t his fault in the first place. And Jinyoung said he understand. But when their health started deteriorating and all they could feel is anger, they simply lashed it all out at each other. Blaming others is always easier anyway.

 

“So what? We’re dying anyway! At least I’m not deceiving myself into thinking I’m not!”

 

“We’re  _ medicated _ ,” Jaebum corrected him.

 

“Call it whatever fuck you want. But we both know what’s really going on. We have no cure Jaebum. It’s time to face the fucking reality that we are  _ dying _ . So I’ll live my life the way I want and you can live yours,” Jinyoung finishes and turned away from Jaebum. Jaebum grabbed his wrist suddenly, turning him around.

 

“That hurts!” Jinyoung barked and he wanted to tug his hand away but he knows Jaebum is stronger and it will only make his hand hurt more. Thankfully, Jaebum let go of his hand quickly, forgetting that they injure more easily than others.

 

But Jinyoung didn’t walk off. He stayed, waiting for Jaebum to say what he wanted to say. They stared at each other, Jaebum’s breathing was still hard. “Take your pills. Please,” Jaebum pleaded quietly.

 

Jinyoung looked away, shaking his head to himself. He looked up to the ceiling almost as if he wanted to hold back his tears. Then he looked back at Jaebum. “I’m tired. Let it go already.”

 

Jinyoung turned and started walking towards his room. “Jinyoung.” But he stopped when he hears Jaebum calling his name. No anger. No pain. Just ‘Jinyoung’.

 

“I’m sorry.”

  
  


Jinyoung shut his eyes, letting a single drop of tear fell onto his cheeks. “I’m sorry for making you sick Jinyoung,” Jaebum repeated softly.

 

He stood there for a second before he continued to make his way towards his room. He passed the maknaes in their room and went into his own, slamming the door shut behind him. Jinyoung threw himself on his bed, face first and just started bawling his eyes out. He gripped his bed sheets tight in his hand, occasionally punching the bed again and again. The pain he felt during medication is nothing compared to the pain he feels whenever Jaebum apologised. He’d rather Jaebum shouted at him, get angry, throw things - anything. He don’t ever want Jaebum to apologise because it was never his fault. He knows that. But in the midst of the anger, Jinyoung accidentally spill those words he never meant to say.

 

_ Should I remind you who made me sick? _

 

He wasn’t supposed to say that. He didn’t mean any of it. Jinyoung doesn’t know what has become of their relationship now. They get angry at each other for pointless things, just shouting again and again, leaving the other boys trying to tiptoe around them so that they won’t step on any of Jaebum or Jinyoung’s broken pieces.

 

Jinyoung didn’t hear the door open but he wasn’t shocked when he heard someone walked into his room in a rush.

 

“Jinyoung-ah. Oh my god Jinyoung-ah,” he hears and the next second the said person got behind him on the bed and took him in his embrace and cradled him tight. Jinyoung continued crying while Jackson stroke his hair comfortingly, rocking back and forth trying to calm him down.

 

Jackson will always be the person to try to pick up the chipped off pieces for Jinyoung and Mark for Jaebum after every fight. The younger ones are too young to have the courage to even get involved in their problems but tried as best as they could to help in any way they can.

 

Jinyoung cried like a baby in Jackson’s arms, wanting to rant out some words but couldn’t find any at the moment. Jackson simply shush him quietly, telling him ‘it will all be okay’ and ‘I’m here I’m here’.

  
  


Jaebum ran his fingers through his hair, standing in the middle of the living room. He released a long heavy sigh and walked to the living room’s couch. He tilted his head backwards and stared at the ceiling. His tears were slowly forming in his eyes, clouding his vision of the faded patterns above. Jaebum doesn’t want to fight with Jinyoung. He has never even raised his voice at the younger before all these happened. But he was scared if the younger leaves before him. He couldn’t make Jinyoung better again but if he can extend Jinyoung’s life as much as possible, he would. Jinyoung didn’t ask for any of this to happen to him. Neither did Jaebum but that doesn’t matter because Jinyoung would always be his priority. 

 

Jaebum felt a slight dip on the couch just as a drop of tear fell to the side, from his welled up eyes.

 

“Have you eaten?” Mark asked. He nodded. “Your meds?”

 

Jaebum shook his head. “Later,” he croaked out, his voice breaking due to the shouting he did before.

 

They sat there in silence - way different from the way Jackson is with Jinyoung but that’s how their friendship works - until Mark took his hand, giving it a light squeeze and Jaebum turned to him.

 

Mark tapped his own lap and Jaebum adjusted his position to lie his head on Mark’s lap. The elder of the group stroke Jaebum’s hair gently, patting his upper arm as he goes. Jaebum didn’t even have to close his eyes to let his tears flow, welling up again in his eyes. Mark was caught off guard when he heard Jaebum sobbed. He knows the other is crying but Jaebum always tries to hide it even with Mark. 

 

But that night, he didn’t.

  
  


Jinyoung woke up in the middle of the night and found Jackson's arm still wrapped securely around him. He tried to pry his arm off but he didn't budge. He tried again and this time he quickly jumped out of bed before Jackson could trap him in his embrace again. After making sure that Jackson was still sleeping soundly, he tiptoed out of his room and across the maknaes' room to go to the kitchen.

 

There was a dim light at the corner of the living room and Jinyoung stopped for awhile in the middle, memories of their argument coming back to life. He shook his head and went straight to the kitchen, switching on the lights. He poured himself a glass of water and stared at the cabinet in front of him while he took a sip. He opened the door hesitantly and reached out to the furthest end for his medicine bag. He doesn't know why his hands are shaking when he took out the first bottle, taking one pill from inside. Jinyoung slowly brought it to his lips, hands shaking terribly. He swallowed it down with water and gripped the edge of the counter as he placed the glass down. 

 

Jinyoung doesn't want to do this. He doesn't want to be medicated. But Jaebum practically begged him even in the midst of his own anger. Jinyoung took the next bottle, smaller one this time, and took off the lid. He held onto the pill for so long, refusing to swallow another. Finally he broke down and crouched on the floor, burying his face in his hands and trying to muffle his cries in it. 

 

He can't do this. He doesn't want to do it.

 

Suddenly he felt a touch on his shoulder and Jinyoung jumped away slightly, looking up at him. He was expecting to see Jackson but it's not. Jaebum is there in front of him, looking at him with full concern and sympathy. Jinyoung didn't say anything and simply stared. Jaebum's expression changed when he suddenly felt as if he's not supposed to be there and looked away. And then he said, "S-sorry. I know you don't want me here." Jaebum started standing up but Jinyoung grabbed his wrist. 

 

"No. Stay." 

 

Jaebum still had an unsure look on his face and Jinyoung added softly. "Please." 

 

Jinyoung's voice shook, as if he's going to cry again at any moment. He hated this. Jinyoung hated being so weak. He let go of Jaebum's wrist as if he changed his mind about asking him to stay. But Jaebum gently pulled him into a hug before Jinyoung could push him away. He rest his forehead on Jaebum's chest as if all the energy in his body was drained out in just a few seconds. He didn't know why but the moment he felt Jaebum adjusting and sitting down on the floor instead of crouching, he started whimpering softly and eventually tears started again and he gripped the elder's shirt tightly as he stroke Jinyoung's back soothingly. Both of them simply remained on the kitchen floor while Jinyoung let out every negative energy in him towards Jaebum without even saying anything.

 

They didn't realised how long it lasts but when Jinyoung's cries faded and he started moving away from Jaebum, the elder stared at his face, wiping away his tears. But Jinyoung's face was already wet with tears and Jaebum's attempt only even out his tears all over the face, making Jinyoung chuckle weakly. "You're just making my face wetter."

 

"I know right," Jaebum laughed short and fixed Jinyoung's messy fringe instead. Jinyoung stood up and Jaebum followed. He turned back to his medicines but didn't move a finger.

 

"Why did you stop, Jinyoung-ah?" Jaebum asked. 

 

"You're asking me  _ why _ ? You  _ know  _ why. The side-effects are horrible. I'd rather die early than live in pain," Jinyoung said.

 

"Then why are you taking them now?" Jinyoung turned to him.

 

"I'm taking them for  _ you _ . Because you  _ told  _ me to. You  _ begged  _ me to," Jinyoung spat out. 

 

"If you're taking this for me then stop. Don't do anything for me. Like you said right? You live your life, I live mine,” Jaebum retaliated. It was going well but Jinyoung’s tone suddenly changed and Jaebum didn’t back down. And he knows it’s not going to end well as he had hoped when he first approached Jinyoung in the kitchen.

 

"Answer my question then," Jinyoung started, turning his body to face Jaebum. "Why did you want me to take my pills? Why are you so  _ bothered  _ about it? So that you can feel less guilty? Is that it? So that if I die, people can’t blame you for not taking care of me? Is that it Im Jaebum?" Jinyoung challenged him.

 

That’s not it. Not even close. And Jinyoung should know that. 

 

Jaebum's eyes went hard, staring deep into Jinyoung's angry ones. "I did it because I want you to  _ live _ . I can't take back what I've done to you but if I can extend your life as much, I would. But it's obvious you don't even want to live. If taking the meds is too torturous for you, then so be it Park Jinyoung. Do whatever you want. I'm done with you." 

 

Jaebum turned away, walking off to his room and this time Jinyoung didn't stop him.

 

Jinyoung clenched his fists and his breathing was hard, staring at the path where Jaebum had gone. He took out each one of his pills out of their bottles and packets onto his palm and down them all in one go with water. Jinyoung didn't want to take them but he did just because he was angry at Jaebum's words. Or is it because he was scared that Jaebum would really not care about him anymore?

  
  


Jaebum went back to his room where Mark was still sleeping in his bed. At times like these, Youngjae would sleep alone, sacrificing Mark to accompany Jaebum. Jaebum doesn’t need the company. That’s what he said. But Mark knew him too well to believe it and insisted on being stubborn and sleep with him through his rough nights with Jinyoung. As Jaebum sat on the empty space when he had laid on before, he heard Mark gruntled slightly.

 

“Why are you up?” Mark asked sleepily.

  
“I was thirsty,” he answered simply. Mark nodded and waited for Jaebum to say something more. But he didn’t and Mark fell back to sleep. Jaebum heard the door closing across his room, knowing that Jinyoung was back to bed.   
  



End file.
